How to become a more aware parent of your children

In recent times, raising children has become one of the difficult and confusing issues that is attracting the attention of many parents, and there is an urgent need to learn the opinions of experts in the field of education and child psychology. the title “Annoying Children” by Dr Mustafa Abu Saad caught my attention, a useful reference for parents because it covers many topics, including: How we encourage and support our children’s confidence, how we deal with rebellion, rejection, stubbornness , hyperactivity, distraction, lack of confidence, learning disabilities and repeated mistakes, and how do we say no to them?

In the following rules, we will discuss different parenting patterns and their impact on children’s behavior and how to be a successful educator How do you change the unwanted behavior of your children? How do you develop your children’s responsibility and independence?

Different parenting styles and their impact on children’s behavior

The more authoritarian a person is in his attitudes, the more he abandons his humanity in front of his children and turns them into a machine for issuing orders and prohibitions. The humanity of man and the authoritarian role do not meet in one person, and if the father loses his humanity among his family, it has a negative impact on everyone, and the strange thing is that this problem does not end. With the father, it is passed on to the children, so we get a young man practicing the model of an authoritarian father, but in a lack of consistency with his personality, making the family an arena for conflict and differences and the exchange of accusations and punishment that need to be processed and corrected.

Some parents who struggled with traumatic memories in their childhood swear never to scold their children, never hit them or despise them, in which case the children suffer from a lack of discipline and it is absolutely severe.

Sometimes parents deal harshly with their children because they want to unload the load of stress and anxiety they are suffering from. Parents may be able to relax a little when they do, but this is a short-term relief because the child is behaving worse as a result. Serious, angry, tense, and it’s best for parents to find a safe way to release their anger by doing a specific activity such as reading or walking fast until the breath calms down.

Give your children clear instructions on the right way to do things. Instead of telling your son, “Do not run in front of cars,” it is better to tell him, “Stay close to the sidewalk.” Instead of telling your son, “Do not fall off a tree,” say “Hold on to the tree,” or focus your mind on what you are doing.

Techniques to help you become more aware and aware of your children:

  • Know your goals as a father … and the image that your relationship with your child should look like
  • Keep this phrase in mind: My relationship with my child – with my children – is very important, and everything I do or say is very important for the success of this relationship.
  • Ask yourself every day what you can do to improve this relationship
  • Ask your child to tell you his thoughts and opinions and focus on the positive
  • Listen to your children and take their comments seriously
  • Ask God for help to help you in the success of your relationship and your dealings with your children
  • Take some time to notice what you are giving yourself.
  • Make sure you read children’s books and make sure you watch movies specially prepared for them, participate in their games and have fun with them.
  • Record your diary, it’s the best way to express your feelings, reactions, fears and monitor your successes and developments
  • Focus on your success and make sure before you go to bed every night that you remember three things you did well and did well.

During the process of raising your children, you will encounter many undesirable behaviors that need to be corrected and treated, so we advise you to follow the following rules:

  • It is better for the child’s best interest to focus primarily on changing or changing unacceptable behaviors rather than focusing on blaming and criticizing the child.
  • Select the behavior you want to change
  • Talk specifically to the child about what you expect from him and what you want
  • Show him how it can be achieved
  • Praise the child and thank him for the good behavior
  • Keep praising his good behavior until it becomes a habit
  • Avoid using violence with the child
  • Be present with your children, it is not enough to give them directions, but you must follow your interest in the extent of their commitment to them, because if children miss their parents’ interest in them, they miss the motives for change. of behavior and stick to the good of it
  • Do not remind your child of his mistakes. Repeating the mistakes of the past frustrates the child and ends up repeating them.

Ways to support responsibility and independence in children

  • You need to convey feelings of love and acceptance unconditionally to your child
  • Be sure to be a role model, because children learn through example and imitation more than anything else
  • More interested in the educational process in general
  • Trust your child’s ability to make the right decisions, even if you have not yet seen evidence of it.
  • You need to respect your child’s needs and desires. It’s true that the final decision will be in your hands in most situations, but you need to remember that his feelings and needs are extremely important in this context.
  • Allow your child to bear the consequences of his wrong choices in situations that are not life-threatening and to gain more experience.

Characteristics of responsible children

  • Employees are not out of concern for someone else’s approval or in anticipation of someone else’s response, but for some reason, which may be curiosity, satisfaction with achievement or the joy of learning
  • Children who take responsibility are far from vulnerable to peer pressure or to plead in their behavior to please others and are able to make decisions that are in their best interest, even if they are mocked or rejected.
  • It is not in the nature of responsible children to blame others or the available choices
  • These children trust their instincts and their ability to take care of themselves without risking their lives
  • These children may relate their behavior to the consequences of that behavior
  • These children may have a conflict between their own desires and those of another person, but they can usually negotiate solutions that guarantee their victory.

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