Marital relationship experts point out that it is natural and expected in a healthy and happy relationship to show the wife’s interest in and care for her husband, but love and respect end as soon as she sometimes transcends the role of the wife and lover to the donating mother and the dominant at other times.
Experts say that some men do not prefer to be treated as children in an adult relationship, noting that some behaviors that bear fruit with children to improve their lives should never be applied to men without their consent, and there are some signs that the woman can know that she has exceeded the limits
The signs may differ according to the relationship and its requirements, but they all confirm the same thing, namely that the wife does not treat her husband as a mature and healthy person who is able to make his own decisions, such as overprotecting him , and that she believes that one of her roles is to correct his behavior, so she meets his needs before trying to meet them, and pretends to be the mother’s tone of voice when he talks to him, reminding him of his responsibilities with the assumption that he will forget it, always makes him feel guilty if he did something wrong, and watches him walk in and out of the house.
This can happen when you wake him up in the morning to catch up on his work, or to choose the clothes he needs to wear, or to collect his belongings such as glasses, keys and money in one place, or to get the food he needs eat to put on. his plate, encouraging him to eat vegetables, and even reminding him of his illness and the need not to eat too much. Eat that food or drink, and even track him down to see if he takes his medication and keeps track of his expenses if he wants to buy something of his own.
Al-Sahbi bin Mansour, professor of civilization at Al-Zaytoonah University, emphasized that the rule of everything, when it reaches its limit, changes in its opposite, money in the field of marital relations, so what is required is moderation in all matters.
Bin Mansour told Al-Arab: “It is in the nature of man within the framework of the sacred bond to seek for himself a private space in which he can unite with himself and reconcile with himself in pauses, sessions, reviews and reforms. It requires a kind of freedom of exaggerated attention, which reflects either a pathological phobia of the possibility of losing a loved one or someone else’s possession of him and in this a hidden feeling of inadequacy, or a disguised desire for the partner to control under the manifestations of excessive attention.
He added, “If the other side does not have the characteristic of openness before rationality, the relationship will be characterized and collapse the more the first party’s interest in his feelings of crazy love and his permanent attachment to his second party which can turn into hell that could lead to an inevitable explosion of marital relations. “
Experts believe that attention is one of the best ways to express love and kindness to the other party, and all women need it to be able to bear the heavy burdens of marriage and its tiring responsibilities, but there are cases in which the attention may be excessive to the point of restriction and ownership.
Usually the wife complains that her husband ignores the simple changes she makes, such as changing the color of her hair or changing something in the living room decor, but when the attention is exaggerated and exaggerated, and the husband pays attention to the smallest details until he reaches a state of obsession, it can lead to radical differences in the marital relationship due to This style of excessive attention.
The man’s excessive interest can be motivated by jealousy of all the people around the woman, which can sometimes presumably reach.When the man justifies his many calls from his office to the house that he wants insurance; Women often feel disturbed and interpret it as a form of suspicion.
Also, exaggeration in love, which reaches the desire to own property, can disturb the woman, as the man can reach a stage where the woman is hindered in the name of love by her family and friends, and he justifies it by saying that he is ready to insure everything she needs in exchange for maintaining this situation, but this kind of extra attention makes the woman alienated from the man.
Staying away from things that hurt a woman and preserving her feelings as much as possible is one of the most important signs of attention to her, which gives her emotional stability, but when this attention turns into a kind of favoritism or weakness in women alter. or even hypocrisy; It may be more annoying to the woman than neglect!
Also, attention and pampering are a basic requirement for most women, especially that men often lose much of their romance and emotional interest after marriage, and although the most common complaint from women is “my husband does not care about me not “, attention can be the problem when it becomes exaggerated and over the limit.
Experts believe that the first thing a woman should do is determine the reason why she is uncomfortable with her overly caring husband. Does she feel that he does not have a clear position on something, or does she fear for her social image and accuse her of bullying? Do you think he is too worried to hide something from her, or is he suspicious and wants her to always be under his watch? Identifying the cause of the excessive attention and what is bothering her in it is the key to the solution.
Similarly, the wife should repay her husband’s attention for giving her what she needs emotionally and financially; In return, she should be reciprocal and try as much as possible to express her interest in him and her gratitude for his interest in her.
In the event that the man’s interest was exaggerated and reached a disturbing and disturbing extent; It is possible that the wife takes refuge in talking honestly with her husband about what is bothering her with his excessive attention or what makes her want to reduce this interest, but she should avoid insulting or attacking him, especially if she believe in his good intentions.
In case the man’s excessive attention stems from his compassionate nature and loving personality; It is better for the wife to try to be in tune with her husband’s nature and adapt to his interest, and this is called positive disregard, which helps her to accept what bothers her as much as possible and its effects on reducing marital life.
On the other hand, experts believe that the wife constantly criticizes or worries about her husband and observes his behavior is stressful, which in time will cause her to lose respect for him, and she will feel humiliated by being the person who complains on all occasions. , and what’s worse is that despite the unlimited giving she gives in her relationship, she will not only be compensated by her husband resentment and loss of attraction to her.
Some women imagine that the more she meets all the needs of her husband, the more he will become dependent on her and will not be able to leave her, and this may be true, but as a mother and not a wife, a man may be content with that excessive attention at first, but like a child growing up no longer needs his mother, and will resort to Rebellion or Separation to regain his self-esteem.