In relationships, what are we looking for, love or security?

Rasha Kanakriya

Amman – “Security is higher than love, so never approach when you are impressed, only approach when you are reassured.” Perhaps most of us are on a journey in search of safety in all kinds of human relationships we go through, as it is not measured as much to love as it is measured to safety. Someone is against yourself in all your situations, with their joy and sorrow .. with their faults and good deeds, even for those things you are afraid to say to yourself.
If you find this inner security, hold on to it, this is the real difference in all our human relationships, as many relationships end due to the lack of security in them.
It ended Noha’s marriage despite the great love she had with her husband, but the absence of a sense of security in their relationship led her to end it.
Noha describes her life by saying, “He always tried to change my behavior, my words and even the way I dress, and he understood my words in a different way than their meaning.” All these actions caused feelings of fear and apprehension. not to accept her personality and interests.
Noha started thinking about each action before doing so, for fear that he would misunderstand her, suggesting that the loss of security in her marriage had lost her much comfort and made her feel unstable.
She says: “The existence of love and money without security and attention is meaningless … There are things that are offered for free in life.”
Mona in her twenties realizes how important it is to have security in any relationship she goes through in her life, so she has always looked for it and found it in her friend Hanan, who listens passionately to her and always stands by her side.
She adds, “When I feel lost, I go talk to her to restore balance in my mind, how wonderful it feels to receive me with all my ups and downs.”
The sense of security that Mona experienced in this friendship gave her life stability and psychological comfort because there is someone who hears her and feels her joy and sadness and provides her with energy to move on in her life.
Sociologist, dr. Muhammad Jeribaa, shows that a sense of security is a prerequisite for building any relationship and its success, and many people, especially women, view love as security, because love is “security and care.”
Jeribei explains that man naturally feels fear, especially for the unknown and the future, therefore he is always looking for security and many people give security even over feelings of love, even though it is not separated from love, as the person who is able to give love is able to give security and vice versa.
In the case of loss of security, love will not last, and Grebeh explains that a person feels safe when he feels confident in the other party, and it is she who generates security.
“A person who bears responsibility and has loyalty and honesty can be hard to find,” so if you find a person with these qualities, you should stay with him as he is the best friend and companion in life.
Juribai ’emphasizes that the existence of this feeling in our society is reflected in the building of correct social relationships, as the manifestations of lies and betrayal are reduced, families and society are established, education and the creation of the new generation are based on security, leading a strong society away from feelings of fear, hatred and malice, in addition to forming cohesive families and human and marital relationships Based on love and understanding.
Unfortunately, in Arab societies, some houses are just made of stones that do not have feelings of peace and tranquility inside, and this is what makes us seek safety, so each of us must have a deep and correct mind about the meaning of to define and define. love, because these are two words “safety and attention” for love without them is not Honest, according to Jerebay.
Psychologist Dr. Ali Al-Ghaz says that the concept of love differs from one person to another, and that the nature of relationships between individuals stems from love, familiarity and closeness to thoughts, feelings and cultures, and this is what makes them feel safe.
And the invasion continues, that a sense of security is required, even if it differs from person to person, and what its presence reveals are situations, “the more relationships based on honesty and integrity, the more love and security will be.” The feeling of fear on both sides, and their thinking becomes what will happen to us at some point.
The invasion confirms that a sense of security is essential to our human relationships, but unfortunately many people neglect it, so we notice that honesty in relationships no longer exists and trust has been somewhat lost, and when someone asks, “Is there anyone you trust?” The question is difficult to answer and for some confusing, and it is due to the loss of security due to some behavior or behavior.
The invasion shows that people are divided into two groups; The first loves and then seeks safety, and the second approaches or begins no relationship until he feels safe, and if the element of safety is available, the chances of success and continuity thereof are greater than the first team.
The raid indicates that many relationships fail because of one party who has discovered in certain situations that he does not feel safe and that there are bad intentions of some people towards the other person, and it is correct to look for a relationship which contains security for love, and here it is more clear and healthy.
The invasion continued, that the lack of safety has negative aspects in our lives.If the boy does not feel safe within his family and does not find the warm embrace it contains, he will go seek safety with other parties, but it can be an ambiguous relationship, which means that he can go from a bad situation to worse, Therefore, a person must think carefully before doing so, since the intentions of people are unknown.
The invasion shows that when we are looking for safety in different environments, it is necessary to know the people and how to deal with them, and how much confidence we can give them and live with them so that we do not fall into things we bring not. negative, we do not want to treat one problem with another problem.
The invasion indicates that if the search for safety becomes an escape from one place to another, and he discovers that he has made a mistake, it will negatively reflect on his psyche, and he may be in a state of depression and loss of confidence in life. others, and he may resort to introversion and feel a bad psychological state as a result. The mistakes he went through and his lack of a sense of security in his life.
The raid confirms that when you find a sense of security in a person, he becomes a “referrer” as he helps you in many things, solves problems, talks and exchanges opinions, ideas and advice.
For this you need a conscious person, a yoke of thought, who chooses the people next to whom he feels safe, and these become “our places of refuge,” according to the conquest.
The invasion defines security, as a feeling of an atmosphere of honesty and sincerity in dealing with people, and it is based on honesty between two parties and trust based on the exchange of positive things that are a positive thing to a person bring and make him feel. happy and comfortable in his life.
From an educational point of view, Dr Ayesh Nawaisa explains that man is the son of his environment, which means that a person raised in an environment whose repercussions are positive in everything that this word means, in his behavior and on his personality be reflected. He comes out in the same image with an integrated personality, and so, as he felt safe, he would present it to others.
And Nawaiseh continued, “The opposite is true. A person raised in a negative environment does not feel safe within his family. He has many problems and differences of opinion, and we often hear of some misconduct as a result of ‘ a lack of security, and that’s a kind of reflection. “
Nawaisa explains that safety is a big concept and is not limited to affection and love, as it exists in all forms, and is represented in the friendly relationship between father, mother and children, parental communication with children, communication between students and teachers and between supervisors, and it’s a kind of security that a person must feel in order to appreciate that He gives it to someone else, because “the one who misses something does not give it to him.”
Nawaisa points out that if a person does not discover this feeling, feels it, lives it out and is part of his personality, he cannot present it to others in the future.
He notes that the high divorce rates, family breakdown and the unfriendly relationship between spouses are all issues that are mainly caused by a lack of security, in addition to emotional drought, which is a kind of lack of security.
Nawaiseh states that either the woman or man is not concerned with social issues and formalities but is looking for lots of interest, affection, love and serenity, and all this falls within the scope of safety.
Nawaisa adds that this safety is reflected on the children, and later in their future, and that this group of families is reflected on the whole of society, and therefore feels positive in all his human social relationships.
On the other hand, Nawaiseh explains that part of our big problems is the loss of emotional, psychological and social security. These three elements are very closely linked, and are reflected in the child’s personality, and thus his personality is formed when he it lives out positively and is all safe and in the future he lives it with his wife, children and family.
And he added: “In the matter of parental relationships,” as you condemn, “as you treat your children, they will treat you in the future, and this is reflected in the image of your existing behavior.

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