Love addiction, sometimes called “morbid attachment”, occurs when feelings of attachment and affection become overly obsessive and uncontrollable and turn into a form of illness. How does this happen? And what drives some people to this insatiable need for love?
Psychologists and specialists agree that love addiction is a type of behavioral addiction that is characterized by excessive attention to a person, leading to a lack of control and abandonment of other interests and activities, and may be associated with some obsessive-compulsive behavior. causing the woman to constantly think that the man will abandon her Or vice versa, which increases attachment and makes it more complex.
Pathological attachment becomes a problem when pathological behavior increasingly affects other responsibilities and obligations. The partner feels the compulsive desire to seek love due to strong feelings that begin with the need for a sense of belonging that deepens and repeats itself when the partner feels abandoned or rejected.
Attachment disorders can occur in children who have difficulty forming deep emotional relationships with new people, far from the mother, father or child’s primary caregiver, affecting his ability to express his feelings and his ability to form strong relationships later in life. to build, touch.
When we lose love and respect
Pathological attachment occurs in people who have suffered from childhood problems or have been subjected to severe psychological trauma or abuse, which has caused them to lack love, belonging, acceptance and self-esteem, to seek these feelings in others instead of it comes from within them.
Physical abuse or repeated abandonment can also be a cause of pathological attachment, as these people lose self-esteem and are unable to discern healthy boundaries in relationships.
Psychologist John Bowlby describes attachment as an emotional bond that influences behaviors from childhood to old age. And that bond begins in early childhood with our relationship with our parents, how we act in relationships, and how we allow ourselves to consciously express our feelings.
Early attachment leads to a particular mental model of relationships, which still shapes our interactions with others, even after adulthood. A pathological attachment person tends to make excessive demands on others, and may constantly feel an unfulfilled need for emotional exchange and intimacy, regardless of the other person’s feelings or desires.
They also become very anxious about separation, as they suspect that the other party may leave them at any time, which pushes them into a kind of one-sided relationship, in which they place all their feelings and want the other party to constantly and exaggerate care and spoilage. in return.
Love is never satisfying
Normal people tend to reciprocate love, while people who are pathologically attached to other people cannot give to each other or care for others, whether in friendship, love or marriage, and also show no interest in caring for other people do not give.
Relationships for them are nothing more than a way to satisfy their unfulfilled needs. In addition, satisfying love is often driven by the lover’s idealism and his ability to meet the expectations of the party involved.
Love addiction takes these feelings as far as possible, as it causes a person to focus on their loved ones as if it were something they own, that does not allow them to communicate with other people, to go somewhere without their company, or even to others. not to think.
To date, pathological attachment or love addiction has not been included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. However, this obsessive love can be an indication of other psychological problems and disorders, so if a person suffering from pathological love can not control the common symptoms he feels, he struggles to regulate his feelings, which can lead to more violent disorders and behavior.
Other characteristics of pathological love
- True love involves accepting the other person while acknowledging their own shortcomings, while pathological love does not see or acknowledge the other person’s shortcomings.
- People who are pathologically attached to the other party refuse to end the relationship, no matter how incompatible it may seem, and it is very difficult to convince them of the idea of abandoning the other party, and it may even other party threatens if he tries to end the relationship.
- Pathological attachment can sometimes involve an inactive relationship, such as that of a person with a famous person or with a stranger they do not know.
- Refuses to listen to the other person’s feelings and refuses to accept any boundaries he is trying to create.
- Too busy with the relationship all the time.
How is pathological attachment treated?
Attachment therapy focuses on identifying and treating the cause of the obsessive thoughts and feelings, for example, a person may need certain drugs to control delusions and negative thoughts. He may need to take those feelings apart and refute them with the other party to avoid the obsessive fear of abandonment. In addition, it is preferable to use family therapy or to help the individual replace positive, constructive thinking with negative delusions.
For many people, therapy is the key to managing obsessive feelings and developing healthy relationships. The therapist often helps to disrupt the traumas and past events that caused the attachment, and lays the foundation for healthier relationships.
It is always difficult to take the first step to break a pathological attachment because the threat of loneliness scares the emotionally attached partner, but it is important to focus on your desire to be happy and relaxed. Once you are honest with yourself, you can take action to promote that happiness without relying on anyone else. Diaries can also be a great way to confront yourself, monitor thoughts and write down everything you need to find your emotional peace.