Frustration during intimate relationship. How do you deal with it? – homeland

homelandWhy do couples feel frustrated after intimacy? What are you doing to avoid it? How do you act when you feel like you still want to get married?

The issue of frustration is one of the most common reasons to consult a sexologist. So, what are the solutions to get out of this cycle?

Here is his best advice from sexologist Sebastian Garnero.

What is sexual frustration?

Explain the clinical psychologist and instructor at Paris City University. Sebastian Garnero: “In the field of sexology, sexual frustration can be defined as a negative behavioral and emotional feeling or reaction to unsatisfied sexual activity. It can be expressed in relation to the quantity or quality of sexual intercourse or both: quantity and quality. ”

Where does sexual frustration come from?

Whatever the source of the frustration, it comes from the fact that desires do not satisfy both parties. When things do not go as they thought, the couple feels frustrated, a loss of libido, as well as a lack of certain elements.

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In the context of sexual activity, frustration can occur when there is no orgasm. However, it is not necessary to reach orgasm to feel full during intimacy.

Sexual pleasure can also be felt just by touching, stroking, or even the spouses looking at each other, according to the French magazine “Saint Magazine”.

What are the consequences of this frustration?

According to a sexologist, sexual frustration can generate compensatory systems. “Once sexual frustration becomes too intense, it will lead to a compensatory phenomenon,” he says. Either through increased spontaneous sexual activity or even addiction to pornography or cyber sex or through other phenomena such as excessive consumption of food or alcohol. ”

Sometimes the result can be; Loss of interest in a relationship or sexual activity. “It is also more likely that we will lose interest in our partner or that we will give up sex completely,” the scientist explains.

He also adds: “Sexual frustration can have a psychological and physiological effect on the person who feels it. In addition, it can also lead to low self-esteem, inhibition, anxiety, irritability, depression or difficult sleep. ”

How to avoid sexual frustration?

There are several ways to prevent frustration, including:

accept it

The best way to avoid frustration is to look at the problem in all its aspects.
To do this, identify triggers and discourses: ask yourself why you feel frustrated and how you feel in such situations. Try to explain all the feelings and sensations that cause frustration to you and try to get rid of them completely. This way you will regain your emotional charge.

Find the answer within you

In her book Love, Tantra and Sexuality, therapist Natalie Viara invites you to internalize desire, to send your sexual energy into yourself.

She explains: “For me, desire is an expression of our vitality. Our sexual energy can be considered inexhaustible. We understand very well that this sexual energy is subject to our desires and to our service. With this new look you will do not feel stressed or discouraged. ”

Put female pleasure first

Feel free to ask your partner to satisfy your desires first. Since men need time to rest after an orgasm.

On the other hand, some women may feel frustrated if they do not have time for orgasm.

On the other hand, a woman will be able to enjoy several times in a row and may even experience orgasms over several times.

Do not focus on orgasm

Focusing on orgasm makes you forget about sexual pleasure, make love with your wife to feel pleasure. Sebastian Garnero also recommends “getting out of performance logic, and focusing on knowing yourself and others emotionally and sensually.”

Make room for sexual arousal and sexual arousal

Love, hugs and candlelit dinners can make you forget the feeling of frustration.

Contact your partner

“Communication is important, no matter what. The topics of intimate relationships should be discussed. To be honest is essential.

On top of that, romantic feelings and sexual gratification do not always go hand in hand.

Give yourself time to experiment to get to know yourself better, get to know each other, open up about your own language, etc. All of this will allow you to overcome frustration and maintain the emotional bond of love.

Consultation with a specialist

Finally, you can talk about this with a health professional, for example during individual or couple sex therapy, who can help you, both to understand the origin of this frustration and to find solutions.

What do you do if you are sexually frustrated?

According to her translation, “Watan,” there are several ways to release frustration, and it’s up to you to find the one that works best for you and use it to defuse those feelings.

  • Stress: Do a sports activity. This will help you to get rid of the accumulated stress
  • Get out of the situation: Do not attach much value to this experience and change your mind. You will have plenty of time to start over at another time and discover how to satisfy yourself sexually
  • Breathe and meditate: Take the time to calm down. All this will help to relax and get away from this feeling of inferiority
  • Solve the problem: If the discomfort persists, try to determine what is causing it to find a solution. The specialists are here to support you.

Sexual energy is not necessarily meant to be satisfied, but simply to experience intimacy fully.

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