What are your child’s motives for stealing or lying? How do you handle him? | Mirror

At an early age, the mother may discover unpleasant behaviors of her young child, ranging from stealing to lying to indifference when she talks to him and tries to direct his behavior.

The mother may be shocked by that behavior that she considers rare, and deal with it in wrong ways that aggravate the matter.

Specialists find that these things are common and normal among children, but there are scientific ways to deal with and manage them until they pass peacefully.

My child steals

Author Marwa Rakha, who specializes in Montessori education, confirms that there are many reasons why a child steals, perhaps because he has not yet realized the limits of ownership, or because he is by nature reckless, or because he is not into is unable to control his desires. , or because he is angry, or because he does not feel with love and security.

It is very important to distinguish the age group when dealing with this behavior to understand the cause and motive behind the theft, according to Marwa:

  • Child under 4 years old He does not clearly distinguish the difference between what is his own and what is the property of another person. If his hands achieve something, he considers it his own, and he can not restrain himself even though I repeat to him repeatedly that that thing is not. his property.
  • Child under 6 years old He can understand that that thing does not belong to him, and he is in a state of jihad with the soul, sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing, and that is normal.
  • Child 7 years or older He begins to understand right and wrong, and understands ownership and its rules, yet understanding does not mean application, as it can sometimes confuse theft with borrowing.

make no mistake

Some mothers may be shocked at the child’s theft, and try to punish him severely so that he does not repeat that behavior. Marwa warns about a number of mistakes the mother makes in this case, including:

  • Physical, psychological or verbal punishment.
  • Force him to give back what he stole.
  • Force him to apologize.
  • Expose it to the rest of your family or friends.
Remind the child of his true benefits and help him to have confidence in himself and his abilities (pixels)

This is how he stopped stealing

Marwa points out that the first thing you should do after discovering this behavior is to talk to your child and ask him some important questions:

  • What do you have ?: The point of the question is to get his attention on the object because many children unknowingly take things from them.
  • Where did you get it ?: Some children believe that what they get on the road or on the land does not have an owner and is considered their property.
  • Who owns that thing? Or who paid for it? Here the child may think that what he got belongs to someone else.
  • How does the other person feel? He can be helped to guess the feelings of the person who lost the thing, and to feel the effect of their actions on them.
  • How can this person be helped ?: Here, the idea of ​​giving the thing back should be the idea of ​​the child himself, after realizing the situation and its dimensions. Here he must be morally supported that he is doing the right thing because he is a good kid, and offer to go with him when you return the thing to its owner.

my child is lying

Since there are reasons for theft in children, there are also reasons to lie to children, says Marwa, “Fear is the first and most common reason, fear of punishment or humiliation causes the child to lie.”

She adds that there are other reasons to lie, including bragging and showing off. A child may lie to arouse interest and be admired by his peers.

He can lie by imitating others, as if the mother asks him to deny her presence in the house when someone asks her, in this case the child imitates his mother’s behavior and gets used to it, and there is more ‘ a reason for lying and that is the imagination, in this case the child does not intend to lie, but his imagination drives him to weave stories that did not happen.

How do you handle a lie?

Lying is a bad behavior, but the worst, according to Marwa, is the wrong way to deal with it, under the pretext of changing his behavior, and the mother must follow these ways to deal with the child’s lies and that behavior completely to end:

  • Stop punishing in all its forms, and the next time the child lies out of fear, prove to him that his fears are unjustified, and that you are there as a bond and support for him, no matter what mistakes he makes.
  • Remind the child of his true benefits and help him to trust himself and his abilities, and never mock him or mock his opinions.
  • Stop even simple lies right away because you are a role model for your child and you will be the first person to lie to him.
  • Encourage your child’s imagination by drawing, writing, composing or acting.
Rear view of father sitting on couch with preschool boy and talking and sharing thoughts or problems, loving father talking talking to little boy child, supporting him and showing care and understanding;  Shutterstock ID 1407481466;  Department: -
The indifference that the child exercises towards you is mainly due to the way you handle his mistakes (Shutterstock)

My child does not care

When a child makes a mistake, and you confront him, he sometimes acts carelessly.

This indifference puts the mother in a state of distress, and the case may develop to punish the child, in the belief that the situation will end, but she is surprised that the indifference increases and things become more complicated.

The indifference that the child exercises towards you is mainly due to the way you handle his mistakes.

Marwa says: “A child can make mistakes for various reasons, including forgetfulness, or as a punishment for abusing him, or because he is busy with him, or because he knows the right thing and can not implement it. And with the repetition of the error and punishment, the child changes into an indifferent person, but rather pushes him to deliberately and blatantly challenge the repetition of mistakes without any indifference.

Education is the goal

Indifference is the result of all teaching errors. You need to think about the basics and purpose of education, and follow these tips:

  • Never punish him

So that your child does not turn into a careless person, do not punish him at all, regardless of whether he makes a mistake, whether by hitting, shouting or depriving him. Punishment always strikes back.

Always imagine that the purpose is education, not punishment, and the purpose is achieved when the child realizes the consequences of his actions, when he learns that the broken does not recover and that he must clean the remains of what has been poured, and that theft makes others feel sad.

Do not get busy all day working, flipping through the phone or looking at screens, your child will miss you so he may treat you carelessly and deliberately wrong. Spend time together, whether you are playing, talking or going out.

  • Check your behavior

Do you care about everything he says or does, or do you sometimes just not care or do you care about what he does? Your child learns from you and mimics your actions and applies them to you.

  • Do not overdo it

“No” can lose its power if you increase it, before you say “No” ask yourself how can the situation turn in the child’s favor? How can you add or remove some factors so that you can accept your child’s request, and not push him to repeated rejection and indifference?

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