How to avoid narcissism in children? – Lighting

My mom told me I’m the cutest kid ever, why do not you understand that? No one here deserves appreciation except me.

Those words came from a 7-year-old boy who yelled at his teachers after awarding one of his classmates the title of the ideal student and a certificate of appreciation for his excellence and good manners.

The director called him into her office after he had already scolded the people around him, and called his parents to talk to the psychologist about what had happened, and after the director told them everything that had happened, the mother replied and disapproves: “I see that you are exaggerating, my child trusts himself, that’s all!” The psychologist sighed and realized that she would go to great lengths to solve the problem, but was pleased with a short sentence: “Your child has narcissistic personality disorder, ma’am.”

The parents exchanged views, without understanding, so the father intervened and asked: “What do you mean by this term? Is it dangerous? ” The psychologist replied, “Please sit down, I will fully explain to you both narcissism in children.”

What is narcissism?

We all have a small percentage of commendable narcissism, which enables us to value and trust ourselves, but we can balance and distinguish between self-confidence and self-esteem and excessive self-love, appreciation and preference for others. Moderate self.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or narcissism is one of the personality disorders, during which a person feels that he is the center of the universe and no one is more important or better than him, and this disorder leads to a lot of damage to himself and those around him .

After she finished, the therapist looked at the parents and said, “I think you two have guessed what childish narcissism I have just told you.”

What is narcissism in children?

A child by nature is selfish, he wants the attention and love of those around him, and he does not want anyone to be distracted by him, he wants to get everything he wants. In order to protect himself from the new world it. You find that the child usually does not like to share his toys with others, or does not like to give someone his food, or feels jealous when he sees his parents pampering another child. All of these are innate feelings that do not indicate any bad, but it should be monitored so that it does not degenerate into a real disorder. I know you’re wondering now how to distinguish the difference between narcissism in children and the innate emotions I was talking about. (Nods affirmatively). Well, let’s go on to the signs of disruption.

How do you recognize narcissistic behavior in your child?

To answer this question, let’s break down the words your child said: The child said that his mother told him that he was the best child ever, and that no one else was worthy of appreciation. These two sentences asked the answer to the question. Let us further describe the signs of narcissism in children in clear points:

  • The child feels better than all the children.
  • An exaggerated sense of self-interest in the child.
  • Feel superior to others and deserve special treatment and appreciation.
  • He feels like an incredibly successful, cherished, cherished and brighter child than anyone else.
  • He must be the center of the universe and the focus of everyone’s attention.
  • He wants to control any conversation, and no one else is talking.
  • When he is neglected, he feels belittled, belittled, abused and becomes very angry about it.
  • He finds it difficult to have friends.
  • He owes no thanks to his parents or anyone who was so kind to him.
  • His psychological stability is threatened at any moment, if he loses the opinion that glorifies him and points to his exception.
  • He cannot bear the consequences of his actions.
  • He gets angry when someone criticizes him.
  • He annoys directions and commands.

The roots of narcissistic disorder in children

I think now you both believed the child had the problem, but where did the problem come from? Unfortunately, the next part will not please you too much, but I have to tell you.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a common disease in adolescents, especially in men. The roots of narcissism usually go back to childhood, and usually start from the age of 7, which is the age of your two children. As for the reasons, it is summarized in the following points:

The child gets a sense of grandeur and exaggerated appreciation from his parents, for example: Your child, madam, expressed himself and said, “My mother told me I was the best child ever.” You instilled the idea in him! “Should I belittle and neglect him?” replied the mother.

of course not. Attention and arrogance not only cause narcissism in children and adolescents, but cause negative and bad treatment, for example:

When a child constantly finds himself the subject of criticism, humiliation and violence, he tries to prove the opposite to himself and to others, but in a wrong way, as he glorifies himself and deals with the fact that others do not realize his worth, and that he deserves all the attention, all the love, and all the appreciation. There is no doubt that everyone deserves love, attention and appreciation, but excessive is the problem.

The father replied: “What should we do then? Do we care or neglect, appreciate or underestimate it? ” Balance, we achieve balance. I will explain to you.

Narcissism in children and the environment in which they were raised, is there a relationship?

Narcissism arises in a destructive and destructive environment, an environment that is not suitable for raising a responsible child, an unreliable child, a dependent child who is not willing to bear the consequences of his actions not. Narcissism originates in homes without love, and homes that cultivate self-love in the hearts of their children also originate in homes that have no basis, where parents are not qualified to raise a child who is only self-assured. , but do not exaggerate it, a child who bears responsibility and does not blame everyone Nothing else, a child who values ​​himself and others, a child who accepts himself and others, a realistic child, a child who is satisfied with himself and is grateful to all who treat him kindly.

The influence of a narcissistic child on himself and those around him

The narcissist is a harmful, hateful and toxic person. Similarly, narcissism in children is an outcast No one can carry a child who cares for no one, feels no gratitude for anyone, does not benefit anyone and is not dependent on him! Humility always steals hearts, but megalomania is a repulsive act, and therefore the child will suffer the following:

  • Unit.
  • condemnation.
  • Constant criticism.
  • He will not be able to succeed in any relationship.
  • His psychological stability is always threatened.

The others will suffer from the following:

Is it too late? Is there no hope?

Treatment of narcissism in children

I see the signs of sadness on your faces, I know it’s a pity, but is there hope for a cure or change? My answer is, “Maybe,” because every child is different, and every family is different in its circumstances. But the age of the child is an important and differential factor The younger the child, the more possible his treatment, because with his age the ideas become more firmly established in his mind, and it is difficult to convince him that he is treatment but if he is convinced that he is ill and going to the psychiatrist, there is great hope to change him and improve his situation. .

How to avoid narcissism in children?

It is important to know how to treat the child so that complications do not occur:

  • The younger it is, the easier it is, as the first signs appear at the age of two years.
  • The child must be taught to respect and appreciate others.
  • He learns to thank those who show him a favor.
  • He bears the consequences of his mistakes and tries to correct them.
  • Participates in group work, such as taking part in household chores in relation to his age.
  • He receives moderate love and appreciation.
  • Praise him if he does something positive.
  • They are constructively criticized for avoiding mistakes and learning from them Mistakes are opportunities to learn.
  • Respect the spaces of others.
  • It is known for its pros and cons and ways of dealing with it, and we accept it anyway, but acceptance is different from loving flaws, we accept flaws and try to change what can be changed, we accept that we are all imperfect is.
  • Listen carefully and give him the opportunity to express his feelings.
  • He must learn the art of listening and that others have a right to him and that relationships are given and received.
  • He should get used to apologizing if he has made a mistake and not be arrogant to say “sorry”.
  • He gets used to helping the needy, such as volunteering in a charity, or volunteering his clothes for the poor, and he does it himself.


If you want your child to behave well, you need to be the perfect role model. All the positive qualities we have just mentioned must be found in you, for he will not be convinced if you do not, and imitation has a much stronger effect than indoctrination.

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