Mistakes of boys and girls with parents

The complaints of young men and girls about the bad relationship with their parents increased; As the law says, the instigator of the crime is a participant in its making.

We do not welcome “mutual” harassment between sons, daughters and parents; We remind everyone that most of the problems come from behavior that parents don’t like and “find” expressing an offense against them, a lack of appreciation for what they do for them, and that they don’t have the “adequate ” receive respect that every father and mother deserves.

We note the most important of these actions; which many do in good faith and without realizing the harmful consequences for parents; For intelligent people of both sexes to “close” doors that cause them to be exposed to what bothers them, while they can “enjoy” the love, attention, tenderness and embrace of parents – while they live – and not write themselves ” with their own hands” orphans and narrow their lives and perhaps turn into “unwelcome” guests in their homes, which is what Unfortunately it happens a lot. This can be changed; change of behavior with parents and not hasty results; What “accumulation” needs time and patience to remove; The children are the winners.

Among the losses of sons and daughters due to a bad relationship with their parents is their “rush” to lost and harmful friendships and emotional relationships, looking for a “warmth” that they lack in their homes and that they can make and recover.

We start with an “illusion” that the parents have “finished” their role after their children grow up, and they must “accept” whatever they do without any objection and stop giving advice; And it’s not just young people who say this; some girls too; It is as if they are saying to the parents: We will stay at home with you as hotel guests, we share life “apparently” and let us live our lives away from you!!

It is worse for some children to say to the parents: We grew up and you never criticize us; It is as if they are growing up and the parents are getting “younger” at the same time!!, depriving themselves of benefiting from “honest” experiences and advice that they will find “nearby” only very rarely outside the scope of the parents. ; They alone strive with all their might to make them happy, save them all the problems they have faced and take them into their own hands to make their lives “easier” and to advance as best they can.

Children hurt parents with words; Like “I don’t need anything from you, I work and have a salary and am alone and independent, and you have no right to interfere in my life” or “I won’t tell you my secrets or my decisions” ; It is as if respect for parents and caring for their opinion is “only” linked to the inability of children of both sexes to provide for themselves; And it will ‘disappear’ as soon as they can do so; Here the children transform from their status as children into a “thing” that we do not like to describe, and there is no conflict between independence in personality and respect for parents and their advice, “and this does not mean that they always implemented; A ‘polite’ and unhurried refusal will not cause problems; if it does, it will be temporary.

Some challenge parents to “prove themselves”; As if they are in a battle to “compete” over who is the smartest; And the smart – in fact – is the one who wins the good of religion and this world, so he makes his “self” happy by honoring his parents and enjoys a nice life at home and with parents who do not show distress when they do not see him; for his mistreatment of them and for giving them the gift of love and not the gift of duty; The first is wonderful, beautiful, loving and “moisturizes” life, and the second is limited to granting “some” rights with a dissatisfied soul and gradually “abandoned” feelings and hardened hearts, and if they continue to talk and communicate between them, they will not achieve real victories in life; “Because they are satisfied” with what they see as a victory over their parents.

With religion he will win the approval of the Most Merciful and protect himself from disobedience; It is one of the great sins that God will punish the offender of in this world before the hereafter, and it has been said that among the disobedience is the frown on the parents’ face, “that is, the grin.” What about the harsh words and unkind behavior that bring some angry or nervous outbursts and then blame the parents? because they could not bear it; It was as if they were supposed to be a “dumping ground” in which the children would place the consequences of what was bothering them outside the home, such as emotional problems, work or delays in marriage, and as if the parents were not carrying enough. – until they reach their children to what they have achieved in their lives, as if it were an end-of-service reward for the parents; They expect no reward or thanks, and they also refuse to be mistreated, whatever the reasons may be; Whoever ignores this will lose the parents’ interest in him, even after a while, and they will see him as a burden and not a son.

Some handle what parents ask recklessly and delay its implementation and do it only after great insistence, which angers the parents and causes arguments and words that anger and hurt the children.

And sometimes they refuse to meet the parents’ demands on the grounds that they are busy!!, and even being busy with work does not justify it. It is possible – with the “desire” to arrange the time and the parents to satisfy, and the worst is to say “It’s not important” or “We don’t want to do it”; Among the rights of parents over children “of all” ages is obedience as long as the requests are lawful and do not harm them. Not committing a crime.”

Others carry parents beyond their psychological and material capacities; The first is to meet them always with sullen countenances, as if they were a series of torments outside the house; Nobody is like that, and it’s smarter to tell them what makes them happy too, not because it’s just the right of parents; and also because they will bear with the same contentment; The children’s “temporary” bad mood will provide them with a climate that helps them get rid of it, and vice versa.

The material pressure on the parents and sometimes their “calibration” is that they do not achieve the material aspirations of their children, as the “dagger” with which they stab the parents; And who does not like his family’s financial giving, why does he do no work to advance his life financially, as young men of both sexes do in the West?

We come to the common phrase, unfortunately you will not understand us; You are of another generation, and you have nothing to do with what is happening today; Some say it “innocently” and without intentionally offending. The fact that the difference in genders has nothing to do with a bad relationship with parents; Whoever wants to make the relationship a success will “search” for it and will succeed, and whoever wants to make it a “pen” for his misconduct; He will do, and everyone will reap what he has “sown” with his own hands.

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