The wedding night places a point between two phases that have a great impact on the lives of spouses; It is preceded by plans and fights, followed by, for some couples, a great void that can lead to “post-marital depression”.
What is post-marital depression? Why do women get it more than men? What is the best way to get rid of it?
What is post-marital depression?
It is a mental health condition that accompanies the post-marital period and includes symptoms such as hopelessness, feelings of worthlessness, lack of motivation, concentration problems, negative thinking, sadness, lethargy and difficulty enjoying usual activities.
According to PsychCentral, post-marital depression usually lasts no more than two weeks, and symptoms tend to gradually heal on their own, but in some cases, the situation can last longer. Especially since the new marriage includes several changes, and represents a new phase in life, which affects the mood, but it can be handled.
More common among women
Post-marital depression is more common in women, although it also affects men, but to a lesser extent.
The causes of post-marital depression in women are many and clear, so that the first year of marriage is described as one of the most difficult periods of adjustment, and among those reasons, according to the Idiva website:
- The planning, attention and excitement that comes with wedding preparations ends, and depression becomes an emotional reaction to the withdrawal you go through after the intense euphoria of the full attention focused on it.
- Transition from independence to dependence. Many women lose control over their decisions and choices. In some cases, the husband and his family have greater control over the wife, especially when they marry in a family home, and the new and huge responsibilities that this brings with it make some women slowly slide into a state of depression along with anxiety.
- Guilt because she cannot balance home and career if a woman is a worker.
At the beginning of marriage, most working women feel that they cannot maintain a good balance between their new domestic duties and their professional obligations. Usually, this sense of double guilt causes them to lose faith in their ability to perform these daily tasks.
This condition can be exacerbated when children enter the picture; Just trying to plan for work, childcare and household chores puts a lot of pressure on a woman’s mental health. Deep feelings of guilt, hopelessness and pessimism tend to be the most common symptoms, which can indicate post-marital depression.
- The separation of the woman from her parental home and her carries a great responsibility; When a woman moves into the marital home, separation anxiety about leaving her home can run deep. In the months after the wedding, a woman may experience a lack of support from her husband, both emotionally and in household tasks. Sometimes the husband’s behavior towards his wife may change after the wedding and she may see a completely new side of him that is different from her perceptions of their life after marriage, and this may cause her frustration and despair and lead to depression.
Changing lifestyles, facing new responsibilities and retreating to the height of excitement represented by wedding preparations lead to a number of early symptoms that indicate a woman is slipping into a state of depression, including:
- Hopelessness, feelings of worthlessness and even self-loathing can be one of the first common signs of depression.
- Apathy, loss of interest or motivation related to activities you used to enjoy.
- Fatigue and sleep problems.
- Excessive sleeping, episodes of insomnia, or waking several times during sleep can be early signs of depression.
- anxiety. It can occur along with a depressive episode. Signs of anxiety include nervousness, feeling tense and changes in appetite and weight.
All these symptoms, if not noticed at first, can lead to depressive episodes in women and whose symptoms are stronger, according to the “National Institute of Mental Health” (NIMH).
- Constant sadness and anxiety.
- pessimistic outlook.
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness or helplessness.
- And the difficulty in remembering and decision-making focus.
- Thoughts of death or suicide.
- Self-harm thoughts.
In addition to the psychological symptoms of depression, there are physical symptoms to look out for:
- Fatigue and low energy.
- Move or speak slowly.
- Change in appetite or weight.
- a headache
- Digestive problems.
Tips for coping with the crisis
There are some tips to deal with during the first period in marriage, to ease the effects of depression and to pass peacefully, and among these tips are the following:
- family support, A woman’s lack of family support increases psychological and physical pressure, so the woman’s family must check on her from time to time and support her in every way.
- except the man In-laws should also be open to showing their love and support so that the girl feels part of their family, according to Onlymyhealth.
- A woman should try to analyze and understand her feelings, And don’t jump to conclusions, and make sure that transition period will pass.
- Make a gratitude box According to an article in the “Washington Post”, when you’re going through depression, it’s very easy to feel lost, and to overcome that you need to have enough doses of positive notes that you can pull from the box to feel comfortable to to read them.
- Talk to your husband. It is very important that you talk to your husband and share what you feel, then you will feel very light and pass that critical stage.
- Give yourself a chance to cry. During a major life change, feelings of uncertainty and sadness are normal. According to Focus on the Family, give yourself enough space to express what you’re going through and it’s okay to cry, whether alone or with your spouse.
- Put goals together. Involve your spouse in setting your life goals, whether short or long term, starting with household chores, work, children and dealing with your extended family.