The most spacious bed in the world

bed of roses

I was an introverted child, I was not good at interacting with people, if you put me in a place and leave me for hours and then come back, you will find me still sitting in literature. In my childhood, only pens and paper on my grandfather’s desk drew me. I sat down to draw a bird I love in a sky where I want to fly.

This increased my family’s fear of me, so my going out became a calculated and infrequent amount.

I get up early, sit next to my grandmother, and while she cooks the food and does the housework, I watch the cartoon and imagine the people outside like it. The world has left vast green lands, a long Nile whose waters are clear and clear, and gardens of roses fill every corner of the universe.

Then I discovered reading in the magazine Mickey, Flash, Cinderella stories and The Finger, and then it developed with me into “The Impossible Man” and “Supernatural” with many Spacetoon series, so sleeping in my crib was for me become a fortune, in what I make up for every exit from which I am prevented.

Don’t sleep, don’t sleep, and I’ll give you a pigeon bird

I just slept on my grandmother’s song Don’t sleep, don’t sleep, and I’ll give you a pigeon bird. I thought that as soon as I close my eyes, I will see a dove in my dream, and play with it, it will fly over my head, and surround me, God will create for me wings like those in a dream, to chase , I will definitely win, because God, as my grandmother said, hears us. I would ask him for two wings every day, so that I would fly like sparrows and doves and my grandmother’s doves.

As her fingers caressed my hair and my back, I watched myself on my bed, but it rose until it reached the sky, and the pigeons surrounded me on all sides, fluttering on my hair, my feet and my arms .

God will create for me two wings like them in a dream, to chase them, I will definitely win, because God, as my grandmother said, hears us. I would ask him for two wings every day, so that I would fly like sparrows and doves and my grandmother’s doves…metaphor

She smiled happily, and a big brown dove appeared, her eyes were turquoise, and every wing in her was colored in a color of the spectrum, she took me behind her back, she took me to a beautiful world borne, the heavens roamed with me, she did not leave me, except when the whole sky enveloped me.

I watched the clouds, saluted the sun, who introduced me to her friend the moon, and waved to the sleeping stars until evening came to do her work. I saw the whole world from above, and I felt it turn into a page in a book, which I folded in my fist, before I opened my eyes in the morning. At the time, my bed was like a window to a world larger than mine.

When the world narrows like a needle in my eyes, and solutions are not able before me, I can escape to the world of dreams, I go into the bed that helps me fly.

This is a hut far from people’s eyes, I move into it, exposed in a dream, I see people who do not exist in reality, loving people who are good, beautiful and gentle, who know how to to love, to give and to comfort. Platonic figures like me, searching for the utopian world stolen from the world, I live with them. Running through the bed to the lost fantasy in the world.

My life rests on a murdered heart, and I try unsuccessfully to revive it, I feel that I disappeared long ago, as if I fell into a temporary triangle that made me embrace invisibility. : What’s the point of crying? And why?

Is it a past that crushes you, or a present that crushes you, or a terror of an unknown future that frightens me, as if it were a sword that frightens me daily, while I am defenseless and without any weapons gather around me? my loyal friends, the first of them are my tears with which I made a warm bed on my cheek after my cruel eyes drove them out, the second of them a wrinkle that waved to me long ago, She tells me the beginning of a new era of early adolescence, and the third of them are my naked ghosts, like the ghost of alienation, the ghost of separation and the ghost of nihilism, who dance before me, and the earth revolves around me, but my soul longs to freedom from the prison of the body, so every night I retreat to my bed like a womb, I lie like a fetus, embrace each other, My hands touch my knees, I collapse completely, unite with myself, and make ready to fly

In a moment between waking and dreaming, I often see a strange dream, a girl comes to me wearing a white dress, decorated with small red roses, on her head a blue hat that looks like the hats of Huanm Garden City looks, her long brown hair hangs from the bottom of the hat, she approaches me, and then sits on the edge of the bed, I straighten up, look closely at her face, find her frown, her eyes full of tears, but she shuts her up. I feel stirrings in my heart.

My bed was like a window to a world larger than mine… Metaphor

I give her the old dolls I’ve been playing with, and she frowns more and more. I try to make her laugh by moving my tongue and eyes with absurd acrobatic movements, which release her tears. My heart aches from the sound of her crying. I don’t know what to do to calm down. I try to carry her, she kicks my resistance. I don’t give up, I withstand her kicks and carry her by force. She cries louder, I bring her closer to my chest, put her head on me and her finger in her mouth, rub a little over her eyes, I rock her gently, she closes her eyes and falls asleep.

Psychiatrists say that each of us has an inner child, no matter how old we get. , or even an emotion about something simple but raised our tension, or a kick that knocks us to the ground when the world is stubborn about something we hope to achieve.

When the child appears in my dreams, I know that I am sad, dissatisfied, I feel lonely, hugs me until it swallows me, at that moment I put myself in my bed, to hug my pain with my hand, and wait for none.

Sometimes I sleep barely two hours at intervals due to insomnia, and sometimes I sleep dozens of hours, and in both cases I am psychologically tired, I turn to sleep as an escape from a stressful crisis, for which I do not find solutions .

Here the bed is more spacious than all the rooms, the houses, the world, from there I go to other dream worlds I live in, and I don’t want my imagination to stop.

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