Goalkeeper Peter Shelton beat gambling addiction with the help of his wife

The most famous players in the world

Goalkeeper Peter Shelton beat gambling addiction with the help of his wife

London – agencies

As the most capped player for the England national team, goalkeeper Peter Shilton was one of the most successful and famous players in the world, but off the pitch Chilton was the victim of a lifelong gambling addiction – until his wife helped him break it. it off Steve Shelton describes, in her own words and words, life with a gambling addict, and how she is determined to help others living with loved ones and family members with the same problem. Shortly after we met in 2012, I noticed his suspicious behavior noticed.

He stepped out of the room to use his phone, and he was suspiciously discreet. And I thought there was another woman, and when you lived with a gambling addict, you inevitably felt like there was a third party in your relationship. And on his phone I saw the same number over and over again, it was the phone number of a betting company. And I only thought when he came out of the room to use his phone to gamble, that he was a gentleman and didn’t want to gamble in front of me, and that it was just a simple hobby. One night he I woke up and he wasn’t in bed. He was sitting in front of his laptop and a betting form was visible on the screen. It was midnight and he seemed to be thinking of betting on a horse race in Australia, and of course he could gamble on any race, around the world, any time he wanted.

And then it became clear to me that this is not just a hobby, that there is a very serious problem, and I realize beyond any doubt that he has a gambling addiction.

I tried to talk to him. I worked in the healthcare sector for a long time, and during that time I saw many addicts trying to get rid of their addiction, I knew I shouldn’t push him. When he talked about his addiction, he tended to get very motivated, he was in complete denial, he said. It’s just something he did as a bit of fun. His addiction was mainly to bet on horse racing, he knew a lot about horse racing and knew the managers and players who owned horses, and it seemed like a way of life. There is a widespread belief that gambling addicts are usually failures and obstacles ; In fact, they are often so intelligent and professionally successful that it is hard to imagine that one is facing a gambler. The gambler hides his addiction to a great extent. I found it hard to live with because I loved Peter. He was a gambler all his adult life, since he was 15, that is for 45 years. I can marry you, and I am very worried that this addiction owns you in such a way that it is difficult to stop But I never gave him an ultimatum or deadline.

divide money

And I took some measures, the first of which was that I kept my money separate from his. This is a piece of advice I give to all those who live among gambling lovers: keep your financial independence, and never lend them money. I noticed that whenever he got a bank statement, he would tear it up and burn it. As he worked in a relatively remote location, I wanted to see how much money he spends on gambling, and I found pages and pages showing that a lot of his money goes to the gambling company BetFair. He gambled around £18,000 in one month. I was stunned and I felt a terrible shock that shook my soul, and I said to myself: “Oh my God, he is so sick.” It broke my heart. Help get rid of him, and I’m here to help you. Then I had a miscarriage, and after that incident he was so nice and sweet to me that he never gambled, he took care of me, and I thought, ‘Maybe he’ll stop gambling for me.’ Peter gambled again but I think he changed this time, we lost a baby we wanted and I think the loss is c He was worried he would lose me too. And I felt that he was beginning to realize that he had a serious problem, and that there would be no wedding or honeymoon in Barbados. Instead of yelling and babbling and losing balance, I started to deal with the problem gradually. He was clearly deteriorating. He was addicted to gambling to the extreme. Our relationship has always been sweet and fun, but he has in ‘ fell into a depressed and withdrawn state. One day he disappeared upstairs. I could hear him on the phone trying to get money for a job he did. I told him, “I’m going to the spare bedroom, I really need to clear my mind.” In the morning he looked awful, he had never slept. We then hugged and it was one of the best moments of my life. I gave up my job to help him, and he went through a very difficult phase. Peter still can’t remember the first week he stopped gambling, and then he couldn’t sleep because he had to start a new life. I have a daily battle trying to distract him from gambling, to keep him calm. He craved betting and gambling, and within three months he began to calm down. He began to enjoy golf, and we went on nice walks together on the beach.

to overcome adversity

We got through that ordeal together without anyone’s help, and I called the gambling company Betfair and asked them for help, but they did nothing at all and put no restrictions on his account. When his father died, i scared it would cause him to deteriorate again. I had to deal with my fears, obsessions and trust issues. Five years after he stopped his addiction, we started hearing about children taking their lives because of gambling. I told Peter he had to do something. His voice would be loud and striking. He was very empathetic and said, “This is what I have to do, I have to try to save lives.” Letters from addicts and from people in their lives who have addicted someone. The messages were sad and emotional and crying there were addicts who decided to get help, because of Peter, and of course what he does contributes a lot to awareness. But I realized that the family and loved ones of the addict no Help don’t get it, it’s sad. , loved ones and parents are victims like addicts and should not be ignored, I was Peter’s antidote and the reason for his recovery. I got a diploma to become a therapist and talked to ARA, who had a few jobs. Al-Madi, as an ambassador and consultant, I work on their project called “Six to Ten”. This project puts family and friends at the forefront of those who need help; Its name “six to ten” is derived from the number of people affected by one person’s gambling. This is exactly what is needed – not only the financial side, but also the emotional side. There are angry people, parents who want to tell their children that they are addicted and you have to explain to them, it is not their fault, it is a disease and addiction is no different from drug addiction. More support is needed for addicts during recovery to give them the best chance to move on and not gamble again. To anyone who feels Worried about his loved ones, I would say: If your intuition tells you that something is wrong, follow your intuition, if in doubt, should it be true. . You have to be strong to get through it all, and be confident that there is support. When Peter and I look back, we say to ourselves: We’re amazing, are we really through all this?” It’s an achievement for both of us.

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